


What A Catch

by rosesandcinnamon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, High School AU, heartbreaker ymir au, some implied smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2360279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/rosesandcinnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir Lagnar does not fall in love.<br/>Ymir dates, sure, she has girlfriends, she has flings, but she does not fall in love. She flees when things got too close for her liking, too emotionally close at least.<br/>That’s who Historia starts dating, and she knows Ymir’s reputation.<br/>But this time, she might just stick around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What A Catch

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Fall Out Boy's What A Catch, Donnie, which is really all you need to know about this au.

**_I got troubled thoughts_ **

**_And the self-esteem to match_ **

_**What a catch, what a catch** _

Another day, another breakup.

(That’s not true, she just likes how it sounds.)

Opening the door, she hears noise from the TV and smiled, glad her mother’s home.

She tosses her bag down and sits next to Ilse, sighing.

“How was your day?”

She takes a minute to respond.

“It was okay. Broke up with my girlfriend, though.”

Ilse glances at Ymir, frowning.

“Damn. She take it okay?”

Ymir laughs, putting her head back against the familiar cushioning of their couch.

“Nope. How was your day, Mom?”

“Alright. I’m glad it’s a Friday.”

“Word.”

Ilse insists she do her homework, so she does, they eat dinner together and hang out for a while before going to bed.

Ymir lies in bed and thinks for a long while, eventually texting Bertl. He's her lifelong best friend, as their mothers are friends.

He doesn't answer, and she rolls onto her side with a sigh.

She'll feel better tomorrow.

-

Ymir’s weekend passes slowly, as Bertholdt’s busy, so she and her mom laze around. She’s glad for the respite from school, of course.

Sunday night she thinks about what kind of makeup she’d like to do the next morning, and decides to do whatever she feels like.

That’s usually the decision she comes to.

\--

Ymir walks down the hallway, and people turn and stare. The smirk on her face reads "I'm super fucking hot. You know it, and more importantly, I know it."

And by most standards, she is fucking hot. Her taped-up, old-ass boots make a loud sound when her foot hits the tile, announcing her presence. Long legs look great in skinny jeans, as does her ass. The leather jacket she wears looks about as old as her boots, but it's soft and warm, which is all she cares about. The T-shirt underneath is usually band merch, or plain. No one would be too surprised if she dresses in the dark. Admittedly, she doesn't have the biggest boobs, but she likes them. And they add to the aesthetic.

Her face is all angles and sharp lines, with an underlying fierceness in her amber eyes scaring some away. A genuine smile is a rare sight with Ymir, a dangerous grin or satisfied smirk usually in its place. Her hair is usually kept back in a large clip, paint worn, but she still wears it.

Overall, she's almost too attractive to look at, and the attitude is at least half of it. On days she shows up in a hoodie with no makeup, she still garners attention. Boys are intimidated, some girls are jealous, and some girls just wanna bang her.

Why talk to someone insanely hot when you can just stare at them from afar and hope they notice you someday? She enjoys it.

Historia, on the other hand, doesn't attract attention (usually). She's beautiful, but not drop dead beautiful. With her short stature, it's easy to miss her. She's okay with that.

Historia and Ymir don't really know each other. The funny thing is, in the crowds of the hallway, Historia often walks behind Ymir so she doesn't have to shove through herself. It's probably the most selfish thing she does, but Ymir doesn't even notice. Until she does.

One day, she turns her head to glance behind her, and sees that one tiny blonde- what’s her name? She hangs out with Bertl’s friends- Historia, that’s it. Historia is in the space she creates behind her, avoiding everyone else.

She has to stop herself from laughing.

This fucking tiny ass girl is using her so she won’t have to push through the crowds.

“Do you always walk behind me?”

Her voice is light, but Historia snaps her head up, eyes wide in surprise.

“Oh my god- I, yeah, I do…”

Her cheeks light up, and Ymir laughs.

“That’s _hilarious_. You’re Historia, right?”

She nods, not looking at her, and she drops back just a little to walk beside her.

“Hey, it’s okay. I do enough shoving for both of us. Where’s your next class?”

She offers Ymir a smile, forcing herself to not stare.

 _Damn_.

“104 for English.”

“Wait, we’re in the same class? I never noticed!”

She laughs, glancing up at her.

“Don’t worry about it. Not a lot of people do.”

They go into their classroom, taking their seats, and from then on, Ymir joins Historia and Bertl at their table of friends, fitting in easily.

The two girls trade glances, subtle touches, curiously playing the “are you super friendly??? Into me??? Weird???” game until one morning in April-

They’re standing around before class, Eren yelling about something and Annie digging her elbow into his stomach because “It’s 8 am shut the fuck up”, and Historia’s leaning against the wall, dozing.

Her mini-nap is interrupted when Ymir throws herself beside her, using her head as an armrest.

“Damn, you are so cute, I’d date you in a heartbeat.”

She doesn’t reply, and after a moment, Ymir adds “Well, I’m not your type.”

Historia opens her eyes, looks up at her with this _challenge_ in her gaze and asks.

“What if you are?”

Ymir just stops.

“Oh.”

She grins and slips out from under her arm, leading her off, and Ymir follows slowly, still processing.

-

That’s how they get together, with fumbled words and awkward laughter, holding hands by lunchtime.

The very next day, Mikasa corners Ymir, and with the most deathly serious face, she says “You break her heart, and I’ll break you.”

There’s no mercy in those steel grey eyes, and Ymir awkwardly rubs the back of her neck.

“…No promises…” she mutters, and the line Mikasa’s mouth makes is entirely too terrifying.

“Ymir. Look at me.”

Ymir hesitantly meets her gaze.

“If I find out about a single tear on her face that’s because of you, I will not be happy.”

She walks away, and Ymir swallows down a nervous squeak.

-

Later spring is beautiful, her favorite time of the year, and there’s a lot of skipping class to be done.

But when they are in school, Historia doesn’t appreciate everyone’s “helpful comments”.

She studies in the library during her free period, and a girl she doesn’t know but recognizes slips into the seat next to her.

“Is it true _you’re_ dating _Ymir_?”

Historia gives her a side glance before turning, gritting her teeth.

“That’s true.”

“Historia, I know we barely know each other and all, but I want to help you. Ymir is bad fucking news. She’s going to rip your heart out. Once you get too close to her, she’ll run. Happened to me, happened to a lot of other girls.”

Historia tips her head back to direct her glare to the ceiling, breathing out a heavy sigh.

“I know Ymir’s reputation. I know she’s hurt some people. I can handle it.”

She tries to protest, but Historia turns, staring at her, voice low.

“Fuck off.”

She opens her mouth in surprise, and as it turns to anger, she leaves.

Historia slumps forward, pulling her phone out to text Mikasa.

[Historia: Told a girl to fuck off bc she was warning me away from Ymir K]

Mikasa doesn’t reply, but she comes into the library almost immediately after.

“What the fuck?”

Her words are a hissed whisper, and Historia groans.

“It’s starting to piss me off!”

Mikasa shrugs, carefully choosing her words.

“Maybe she had a point?”

Historia meets her gaze, blue eyes so cold Mikasa wonders how anyone sees her best friend as one-dimensionally adorable and happy.

"What are you trying to say?"

Mikasa paused.

"I don't want to see you get hurt."

Her first instinct is to be pissed.

She shuts that down, and tries a smile.

"I know, Mikasa. I appreciate it."

She sighs, and gets up.

“I told Mr. Smith I was going to the bathroom, I have to get back. See you at lunch.”

Historia watches her go.

\--

They end the year happily, Historia helping Ymir through her exams, and they’re a little shy around each other, but that soon goes away.

They both know that with summer and the near-independence of being a teenager the way they are, they won’t be together as much, but with Snapchat and texting, they’re pretty sure they’ll be alright.

-

Historia is a rich girl, no doubts about it. But she lets her friends enjoy it too.

So, for the end of the school year, she has a pool party when her parents are out of the house.

Connie and Sasha are ecstatic.

She cannonballs in with a wild screech first thing, Connie following with a _loud_ bellyflop. They come up laughing, and she flings her wet hair at him. Annie and Mikasa get in in a more dignified way, Annie sliding in from the side, Mikasa diving. Reiner, Bertl, Jean, and Eren, collectively fell in with various shouting, and no one knew who pushed who. Marco waded down the stairs, laughing when Jean pulled him further. Armin sat on the side kicking his legs until Eren grabbed his ankles, but from the smile on his face, he wasn’t angry.

Historia calmly watches from her tube, soaking up the sun, laying her head back and loving the splashes and shouts and laughter of her friends.

Until Ymir dunks her like a little bitch.

She comes up spluttering, and sees her smirking girlfriend floating in the middle of the tube.

“Ymir!”

The grin on her face is her only answer.

Historia dives, finds her ankle, and _yanks_.

Suddenly they’re both underwater, and she smiles at her before pushing up, treading water until Ymir sneak attacks from behind with a splashy hug. She shrieks at the surprise, but the laughter in her ear is comforting.

“You’re horrible!”

“I’m awesome!”

She rolls her eyes, laying her hands on Ymir’s, and they float quietly for a moment.

“It’d be a tragedy if you don’t know how good you look right now.”

She says it into her neck, and Historia tilts her head before replying.

“I could say the same to you.”

Ymir tightens her hold on her just a little bit before going to jump on Bertholdt, and she laughs.

\-----------------------------------------------

_**You'll never catch us** _

_**So just let me be** _

The only good thing about back to school season is knowing she’ll get to see Ymir on a daily basis soon enough.

She’s excited for her classes, and this year is gonna be good. Her friends are happy and she is too.

Even though Ymir’s hard to figure out.

Historia’s asked her if she’s excited for school, and her response is always a vague mumble.

She glances up at her girlfriend’s chin, warm hand in her own, and smiles.

It’ll be alright.

\--

The year starts off nicely.

She has classes with Ymir and Mikasa and some of her other friends, and the only problem is that-

People hate Ymir.

People who have never spoken a word to her hate her guts.

And it makes her furious.

She and Hannah are sitting in science class, chatting idly.

“Hey, homecoming’s in a month! Do you think someone’s gonna ask you?”

Historia laughs, glancing at her.

“Ymir shouldn’t take much convincing, I know she secretly loves fancy dresses.”

She doesn’t see Hannah’s face, but maybe that’s a good thing.

The disgust in her voice is enough.

“You’re dating _Ymir_?”

“Yeah, haven’t you heard? Since April.”

“Oh.”

She can tell from her tone she has more to say on the subject, but she is not in the fucking mood, and so changes the subject.

“Do you think Franz is going to ask you?”

Hannah giggles nervously, and their conversation continues.

Historia isn’t as friendly after that.

\--

A week later, Historia sees graffiti on a bathroom stall, and her heart turns to ice.

 _“DON’T TRUST A HO, NEVER TRUST A HO.”_ It reads in red loopy handwriting.

 _“You mean Ymir Lagnar?”_ The reply is in a neat blue print.

 _“What’s the difference?”_ The final sentence, in black, is the last straw.

She’s generally against inconveniencing minimum wage workers who get enough shit, but this is fucking personal.

She finishes up and storms out, washing her hands quickly to grab her Sharpie from her bag.

Going back in the stall and uncapping the marker, she almost writes underneath the three lines, but pauses.

The black handwriting looks familiar, scrawly and messy, and it takes her a moment.

That’s _Ymir’s_ handwriting.

Sighing, she takes a photo of the three lines and goes back to class.

The silence of the halls is always strange to her.

She can hear teachers, or students, talking in classrooms, but it sounds so distant and removed.

It’s lonely.

Historia used to be very close friends with lonely.

She turns the corner and- hey, Ymir’s working on a project outside! She thinks she recognizes Thomas beside her, but that’s not important.

“Ymir!”

She calls her name softly, and she looks up quickly.

The way her face lights up when she sees Historia is the cutest thing she’s ever seen.

(Except for maybe that one kitten video.)

Her classroom is right there, so she just blows Ymir a kiss and goes inside.

Ymir smiles, and turns back to the project as Thomas gives her one of the weirdest looks she’s ever seen.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“What?”

“Blowing kisses is so cheesy! It’s the 21st century, grow up.”

She laughs, and shoves him.

“Never.”

\--

As her teacher is significantly not strict about phones in class, Historia compares the writing on the wall to a note she and Ymir were passing in- was it math class? It was definitely math class.

And it’s definitely her handwriting.

She puts her head on her desk, thinking.

She could talk to Ymir and make a big deal over it, but the chances of her laughing it off are extremely high.

So, she figures, it’ll wait.

But the thought of it is always at the back of her mind.

Why would Ymir herself agree with something like that?

What does that _mean_?

\--

It’s a lazy Friday night, Ymir at her house, and she’s restless. Movies, homework, dinner, talking, none of it is keeping her attention.

After she shifts around on Historia’s bed for five minutes as she’s on the floor finishing homework, Historia is so done with it.

“Babe, do you want to go for a drive or something?”

Her response is immediate, and enthusiastic.

“ _Yes_.”

Historia can’t help a smile as Ymir bounces off her bed, shoving her feet into her boots and tying them sloppily. She pushes herself off the floor, grabbing her jacket and her keys.

After stopping to talk to her mom, they’re out of the house.

True to American stereotypes, Historia got a _really nice_ car for her sixteenth birthday. Not a convertible, unfortunately, but it has a nice sunroof and stereo system (and backseat).

With the windows down and the music up and wind blowing her hair back, Ymir can finally relax.

The lights of passing cars and traffic lights and streetlamp are beautifully fuzzy, blurry when she turns her head, and through the open sunroof, she can see some stars through clouds pink of light pollution.

She puts her head back and closes her eyes. Historia’s quiet, gentle presence is so comforting, she wishes they could always be like this. The air rushing past the car and the music wipe away all the thoughts in her head, until the song changes.

_“Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun, but baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run. Rule number two, just don't get attached to, somebody you could lose, so le-let me tell you-“_

Historia doesn’t skip it, and she sings along softly. Ymir vaguely recognizes the sound of this song, but she’s never concentrated on the lyrics before, and it’s uncomfortably personal.

She’s quiet until it’s almost done, and then she glances away, shifting in her seat.

_“Girls, we do, whatever it will take, cause girls don't want, we don't want our hearts to break in two, so it's better to be fake. Can't risk losing in love again babe.”_

She waits until it’s done to comment, since Historia seems to like it.

“That’s a good song.”

Her reply is absent-minded, she’s concentrating on turning off of the highway and wondering what the next song is gonna be.

“Yeah, it is. It should be like, your theme song.”

Ymir turns to her, giving her this _look_ , hurt and offended and angry all at once, and it takes Historia a moment to process.

“Holy shit, oh- Ymir, I didn’t mean that, I am so sorry, I wasn’t even thinking.”

She tentatively places her hand on hers, squeezing it apologetically.

Ymir laughs, but it’s hollow.

“You’re right, it should be.”

Her tone is so cutting, Historia knows just how badly she fucked up.

“I’m really sorry. That crossed a line, and I shouldn’t have said it.”

She doesn’t say anything.

Furious with herself, she pulls off into an overlook.

“Hey. We should probably talk.”

She pulls out her phone, unlocking it and quickly finding the photo of the graffiti from the bathroom.

Historia was right.

Ymir starts to _laugh_ when she reads it, horrible gasping laughter that normally, she would adore, but she hates it. Waiting patiently for it to die down, she takes her phone back and uncaps a bottle of water.

She takes it when she’s done, sighing loudly.

“Wanna explain? I know the last line is your handwriting. I was actually-”

She breaks off, a little embarrassed, but continues.

“I was going to reply, tell them to fuck off or something, but then I recognized it.”

Ymir smiles, a little touched that she would defend her like that.

“That was me, yeah. But come on, that’s the best thing I’ve ever seen written about me.”

Historia falls silent at the implications of that, horrified.

“What do you really think about- your reputation? How people see you?”

She’s quiet for a long time, staring out the window, and she puts a gentle hand on her arm.

“I hate it. I hate knowing that all people think about me is that I’ve dated more than they approve of. I hate knowing I’m just a huge lesbian who can’t commit to anything. I do my best to not let it get to me, but it’s fucking hard. I just. Fuck, Historia. I never wanted to be the girl who broke everyone’s hearts. I was just the one girl who knew exactly what she wanted and all the questioning girls just kinda showed up. And they all hate me. That’s okay, I mean, I deserve it.”

Historia carefully avoids the center console to shove herself into Ymir’s lap, quietly putting her arms around her.

They sit like that for a long time, cars on the road making whooshing noises, moon shining brightly overhead, and Ymir knows exactly how lucky she is to have this girl in her life.

“Baby, we have to go. Curfew, remember?”

Her voice is so soft, and she nods, clinging to her just a little more before she goes back over and starts the car again.

\--

They get to her house just in time, so Historia’s mother isn’t upset, but she gives them a knowing look before they go upstairs to her room.

Now Ymir is unnaturally quiet, so she puts in a movie and the dark is comforting.

It’s not long before Historia rolls over to kiss her, mouth on hers and her face and her neck and everywhere, and soon Ymir’s reduced to whines and gasps.

She’s so gentle with her. Kisses drop like butterflies on her dark skin, pale hands following. Her small fingers trace lines down her body, fingernails adding a slight scrape. Her mouth is so soft and so warm, softer than her voice when she calls Ymir baby, warmer than her heart even (she doubted that, but still).

Later, in the dark and quiet of night, Historia pressed into her side, she lies awake and wonders what she’s done to deserve this girl.

\---------------------------------

**_And all I can think of_ **

**_Is the way I'm the one_ **

It’s the homecoming game, and they’re all there to watch Reiner play and generally try and be proud of their school. Historia’s draped across Ymir, legs over hers, arms around her waist, face buried in her neck because she’s warm and she asks for updates every time she hears something going on, and Ymir’s head is down to talk in her ear.

Her world pauses for a second, the screaming of the crowd turning into whispers.

She thinks of the night Historia asked her about her reputation, she thinks of all the times she’s stood up for her, she thinks of all the shit that seems just a little better because of her girlfriend. She glances at her peaceful face, the contented smile.

And she thinks- _I love you_.

Things come back full speed, even louder than before, and there are so many things in her head she just stammers a “be r-ight back”, unceremoniously scoots Historia off her lap, and trips down the bleachers.

Historia watches her go, turning around to give a “What the fuck?” look to her friends in the row above her, not knowing if she should go after her.

She could just really need to pee, or there could be something wrong.

After a second, she follows with her bag, finding Ymir in the empty bathroom.

Historia presses her forehead to the stall door, voice soft.

“Come on, Ymir, I’d know those shitty boots anywhere. Is everything okay?”

There’s nothing but silence, until she unlocks the door and Historia stumbles in. Ymir’s face is blank, and she doesn’t really know what to say. So she steps closer, hesitantly tiptoeing and putting her arms around her neck. She lays her head on her shoulder, and Ymir slowly hugs her back, relaxing with a sigh.

Historia ignores the protesting of her muscles to stay on her toes just a little longer, until her shoulders start shaking.

It’s confusing.

Ymir’s so well guarded, it’s incredible. No one really _knows_ her. No one has ever been that close to her, except maybe Bertholdt, and that’s different.

Historia has never seen her cry.

She doubts anyone has ever seen her cry except her mother.

So she pulls back, just a little, and Ymir immediately tries to hide her face, but she reaches up to brush away a tear. She still won’t look at her, and Historia finds her hand to lead her out, going over into the open part of the bathroom. She boosts herself up onto a sink, shrugs her backpack off, and Ymir gives her the lost puppy look until she drags her back into her arms.

Ymir _cries_ into her jacket, and it breaks Historia’s heart. She slips her hands underneath her shirt, rubbing her back and her shoulders, hoping it’s soothing. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, and Ymir stiffens at the noise.

“Shh, it’s okay, one second.”

She awkwardly shifts to get it, one hand still on her back, and understands why Ymir would be nervous about it.

She’s got a reputation second only to Annie as heartless.

She’s got a reputation second to none as a heartbreaker.

Historia reads the text, it’s just Mikasa making sure everything’s okay.

[Historia: ;)]

She’s betting their friends already think they’re fucking in the bathroom, a little push won’t hurt.

Ymir sighs against her skin and steps back, still avoiding her eyes. She catches her hand as she puts her phone back, tugging.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not going to feelings jam with you in a gross school bathroom, Historia.”

“A gross school bathroom is the best place to feelings jam. Get with the times, you geezer.”

Her voice is teasing as she takes her other hand, holding them so gently, and Ymir can’t fucking stand the kindness in her eyes.

She can’t fucking stand the fact that Historia probably loves her back.

She can’t fucking stand it.

Historia deserves the love of someone so much better than her, someone who can actually express their feelings, someone who hasn’t dated the entire female lesbipan population of their school.

She doesn’t deserve Historia.

She’s just a shitty raging lesbian who tends to break girls’ hearts.

“Ymir.”

Her voice cuts through all the thoughts in her head.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now. We don’t have to talk about it at all. Just… it’s not something I did, right?”

Ymir forces herself to not laugh.

“No, no, it’s not you, how could you even-“

Her voice drops off because she’s kissing her, so softly, and she tries to ignore the fact that she just broke her cardinal rule.

Don’t lie.

\--

She doesn’t mean to lie to Historia.

She just can’t tell her it is her she cried so hard over. She’s so sensitive, she’d probably start crying herself.

She can’t watch her beautiful face fall, blue eyes go dark, she can’t watch her stumble over her words to ask what she did.

She can’t do that to her.

Ymir whines when Historia stops kissing her, curling her fingers around hers as she presses their foreheads together.

“We should go back. Reiner’ll be mad if we don’t know exactly what happened when, you know how he is. “

She sighs, closing her eyes.

“How bad is my makeup?”

Historia appraises her eyeliner, and makes a face.

“I’ll fix it.”

She grabs her bag, digging around for her usual liquid pencil thing, whatever it’s called, and Ymir can’t help but love her.

How can she not love her?

Historia finds it with a smile, and she closes her eyes expectantly. Before she uncaps the eyeliner, she rubs off smears with her wet thumb- oh, Ymir hopes she didn’t lick it.

But then again, Historia’s tongue has been _lots_ of other places, so it doesn’t really matter.

She fixes her eyeliner quickly, adding some mascara, and hops down from the sink.

They leave the bathroom hand in hand, and Historia is sure to wink at Mikasa, just to make sure no one gets the wrong idea.

-

Ymir’s kisses are rough and fierce that night.

Historia suspects it’s because she was so emotional. It almost feels like she’s trying to prove something, or tell her something, but-

She doesn’t think about that for long, because Ymir’s leaving marks up and down her neck and she doesn’t want to think about anything else but her.

\------------------------

**_Miss Flack said I still want you back_ **

**_Yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back_ **

Life is a little awkward after that, but otherwise goes as usual.

But Ymir’s being kind of confusing.

She’s cuddly in the morning, laughing and joking during lunch, and then in their 4th period class together or in the car, she’s sullen and stubborn and a total fucking asshole.

This continues for two weeks before Historia is sick and fucking tired of it. She’s already not feeling that great, she’s stressed as hell, and Ymir’s not fucking helping.

In fourth period, she makes snarky comments at everything she says, so eventually she shuts her mouth and lets her do the work.

They get into Historia’s car and she is just. Pissed.

"What the fuck is your problem, Ymir?"

Her voice is harsh, and it startles Ymir a little.

"What?"

"You were really kind at lunch, and now you're being a fucking asshole. Is this how you act when you're gonna dump someone? Should I be putting your things in a box?"

Ymir glances at the angry set of her mouth, and knows. It's now or never.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I have been a total asshole."

Historia stays silent, and she thinks over how she's acted the past few days.

"Fuck. I've been the worst, I'm so sorry. I don't know how you put up with me, Historia. It's amazing. _You’re_ amazing."

She laughs after a few moments, and Ymir hopes that's a good sign.

"I know."

Her tone is lighter, so she looks out the window, thinking.

"I don't know why you do it either. I mean, I'm a fucking mess, and you deserve a lot better than _me_."

" _Ymir."_

They look at each other, and she smiles, gently.

"I thought you would have figured it out by now."

Ymir gives her another blank look, and she slips her hand into hers.

"I fucking love you! I know that scares you, Ymir, I know. But I think your perception of it is a little warped."

She doesn't reply.

\---

Historia begins to think she shouldn't have said that.

Ymir’s staring at their hands blankly, and it feels like her heart is in her throat. She starts to move her hand away, expression carefully composed.

But Ymir tightens her hold and speaks, voice so small.

“I don’t understand.”

Historia waits, wishing she could see her face. She rubs her neck and sighs before continuing.

“I don’t know why you- why you love me. I don’t understand why you would. I mean, I’m just a shitty asshole and a terrible girlfriend, and you’re- wow, you’re sweet and gentle and so patient with me, I just…”

Historia pulls her hand away and grabs Ymir’s face, turning it so they look at each other.

“Don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m just as flawed as you, and you know that. You just want to use me to put yourself down, Ymir.”

Her eyes are wide, and she takes a moment to run her thumb along her cheekbones, smiling softly.

“Do you want me to tell you you’re a horrible girlfriend? Do you want me to tell you you’re a fucking asshole and I hate you? Even if you do, I’m not gonna! Baby, none of that is true, and I wish you would stop looking for confirmation of it. Yeah, you’re an asshole. You’re a funny asshole, and I love you for it. I love you for a lot of things.”

Ymir’s crying. She’s crying, and it might be more horrible than in the gross school bathrooms, because she’s crying because of Historia, and she doesn’t know if this is gonna be the end of them or if Ymir’s just upset again.

So she does the easiest thing she knows, and unbuckles, pushing herself over the console once more to hold her girlfriend.

Ymir puts her head on Historia’s shoulder, and she’s _sobbing_ , terrible, earth-shattering _sobbing_ , and it’s all she can do to not cry with her.

She holds her, arms around her waist and head laid against hers, offering that comfort to Ymir because really it’s the only thing she knows how to do. When it seems her tears are going away, Historia turns her head to talk to her, voice and words equally soft.

“Ymir, you don’t have to say anything back, okay? I know you care about me, and that’s all I need. If you want to pretend this didn’t happen, well, I hope you don’t, but okay. I- all I want is for you to be alright.”

Ymir doesn’t reply for a few moments.

Her voice shakes.

That doesn’t matter.

“I love you. Too. I love you too.”

Historia almost hits her head, she sits up so quickly.

She makes eye contact with her, watching the emotions on her face and carefully wiping stray tears away.

“You’re not just saying it to make me feel better or anything?”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

She closes her eyes and says it again.

“I love you.”

 


End file.
